Ciao, I’m Jess —
Throughout my life, I have had an insatiable curiosity towards the world and a desire to constantly learn new things. During my early years, I often felt like I didn’t quite “fit in.” Being half Japanese and Italian, and living in America, I often felt torn between seemingly contradictory cultures. I found myself drawn to ideas or styles that seemed to oppose each other or not make logical sense. I was fascinated by complexity and paradox, but at the time, being too young to understand this, I struggled to understand who I was within a society that valued homogeneity.
During my adult years, I explored various career paths, including product development, styling for a wide range of projects, set design, public relations, and blogging. I even became a certified a health coach and curated wellness workshops and events.
My diverse and sometimes conflicting passions, interests, and desires, as well as my willingness to pivot and explore new things, were often met with curt advice to "just stick to one thing." This created deep feelings of shame. Over the years, I began to suppress my inner world and shrink myself and my feminine essence to fit within the linear, masculine structures of the culture. I did this to avoid being seen as "too much," to keep up with others, and to stay in one lane so that I could "succeed" like everyone else. Unfortunately, this repression massively stifled my feminine spirit, creativity and sense of childlike adventure. I no longer felt bold enough to pivot when I pleased or to pursue my desires.
Until one day my body decided it had had enough. I experienced a mental health collapse, due to a breakup, a Xanax dependency (MORE ON THIS THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS🪞) , and ultimately a disconnect from self. I was thrust into an internal dark age of the mind, the collapse of my egoic empire. Through this darkness, I discovered the light of innovation within, and re-emerged into a time of profound growth and transformation. My interests and passions began flowing in my body again, my creativity was abundant and my ability to channel it was easily accessible. Then, I stumbled upon the term Renaissance Woman.
Renaissance Woman (n.)
a woman with many talents & areas of knowledge
Never feeling comfortable confining myself and my creativity to just one role, this term encapsulated me so beautifully. I felt seen and validated by this single word, that held so much depth. I realized, as a Renaissance Woman, I am an enchantingly complex, multifaceted being. Within me lies masculine and feminine duality, magic and logic combined, paradoxical worlds and a powerful interior life. I found that my willingness to walk different roads and to pivot as I pleased, to own all of the full bodied highs and lows and embrace all sides of my multiply layered self was actually a profound strength and the source of my innovation. It was freeing to realize that I preferred a life of harmonious juxtaposition, and that to me, a fulfilling life is one that is consistently spiraling, refining and evolving.
I realized that as a mixed woman, I belong to a generation of third-culture kids who are at the forefront of social and demographic change in the U.S. My very existence challenges the restrictive notions of race and culture, and I serve as a bridge, occupying the liminal space between “difference.”
I came to understand that I had a natural ability to identify patterns that create cohesion and harmony within paradoxes, and that my gift was holding the tension between opposites to turn chaos into creation.
And ultimately, that through embracing complexity, my multidimensionality, my feminine essence and weaving my varied interests together through creation, and birthing the stories from within, growth and healing unfolded.
It still is (and will always be) a process to fully embrace and embody my multifaceted nature. But this journey led me to consciously cultivate sovereignty in all the pillars of my life, and to rebuild my empire in a sustainable, integrous and softer, gentler, more feminine way. I call this evolution my own personal Renaissance.
I was never meant to fit into the current paradigm, because I am here to create a new one, in the collective rebirth we are experiencing in this profound moment in herstory.
And if this resonates with you, I invite you into my sanctuary, my world between worlds. Lets create a new world, together.
